


Day 19- Graveyard

by wolfjc5



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27260269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfjc5/pseuds/wolfjc5
Summary: Steve says goodbye.
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 11





	Day 19- Graveyard

“See you in a minute,” she smiled at him. Steve shifted his gaze at Natasha. She gave him that shy smile, trying to hide her excitement. And she was gone.

Steve woke with a start, drenched in sweat. He hastily wiped tears from his eyes, and sat up in bed. She did what she had to do. If he had been on Vormir, he would have done the same thing. Sacrificed himself. For her. It was unfair. Natasha had meant so much to him. He loved her. She was the first person to treat him as a person, not a soldier, not a legend, not someone who didn’t belong. She treated him as a friend. She was able to see through the mask he put on for others. He was allowed to be sad in front of her. He was allowed to let his guard down. He didn’t have to be Captain America around her. He could be Steve. And she could be Natasha. Neither of them had to hide the darkness. They allowed each other to feel. And now...

Yes, he loved Peggy. Yes he went back so they could live a life together, like they planned. And they did. They had a wonderful life. They had a house, jobs, friends...

But if he was being honest with himself, if Natasha had survived, he wouldn’t have left. He couldn’t have left if Natasha was there. Alive. She was his home.

He got out of bed, put on his shoes, and went out the front door. He needed to breathe. He needed air. Steve didn’t know where to go, but he went any way. He went left, right, straight, right, left, left... Something was calling.

He found himself in front of a cemetery. He knew it was irrational. She wasn’t here. She wasn’t even alive yet, but he went in any way. He walked aimlessly, not sure where to go, or what to do. With every step, his grief weighed him down, down, down, until he couldn’t take any more. He felt the grief crush him into the earth. On his hands and knees, he punched the earth. He let guilt take over. He sobbed, he cried out, he screamed until his throat was sore. 

He slumped against the side of a cement bench. The coldness seeped through his shirt. It snaked through his entire body and he let a shiver rake through him.   
“Natasha...” he whispered. “I’m sorry. It should’ve been me with you on that cliff. If I could—”

He knew it was pointless. The trade for the stone was an “everlasting exchange”, as Clint put it. Sometimes he’d imagine what would have happened if she had reappeared next to him, like they had planned. She had said, “See you in a minute.” He believed he would see her again. If she had reappeared next to him...

He wouldn’t even waited another moment. He would have told her how he felt. No more waiting, no more wondering. He would have told her he loved her. 

No more “what-if’s”. Natasha wouldn’t want him to live like this. 

She would say, “Go, Steve. Don’t do this to yourself.”

She always encouraged him to live his life. She made him promise, years before Thanos, that he’d find a life outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. And he did. He lived his life with Peggy. He lived every day, in part because Natasha was never able to. She deserved to live the life she wanted. And so did he. 

He stood up, wiped the dirt off his pants, and looked upwards toward the black sky. He imagined her bright green eyes shining like the stars. “I love you, Natasha.” He pressed his fingers to his lips and lifted them up to the sky. “Goodbye.”


End file.
